Within the last few years I have lost who I used to be. Bills and work have become my number one priority. This is hard for me because I had so many passions before I moved out one of which was reading. I have not touched but maybe 3 books in the almost three years since I moved out. I used to write every day and that has gone down to once every few months if I am lucky. I used to be crafty loving to sew and make creations of my own. This weekend somehow sparked that need in me for something more than I have now. I have started reading again and with creating a cosplay for comic con this weekend I decided that is something I may continue to do it will get me back into crafts and sewing like I used to do a few hundred moons ago. My passion for music however, as stayed with me through the bitter end. I decided that at night when I'm listening to my music about to fall asleep I should just write my heart out everything that I am feeling. Considering I have not touched this blogger for years I highly doubt anyone is reading it so I can be brutally honest without having to write in my journal and critiquing my handwriting the whole time. So here I go.
Boys can kiss my ass! I have learned since I have moved out that honestly at this age they don't care about you they really don't. Pardon my french but they just want to get their dick wet. But what they don't know about me is that won't happen unless I feel cared for! I'm tired of falling for guys stupid lies because in the last few weeks I have learned they will feed you whatever lies and hold you close just to make you feel special so they can get what they want. Too many people care about bodies don't get me wrong I have lost a lot of weight since I got out of high school and I am continuing to lose it. But they shouldn't just over look me because I am a size 9 to 1O and the girl right next to me is a size five. I'm sorry but I am not dumb and I have opinions unlike some girls my age, I will voice those opinions if need be.
So here is to the girl thats not a size five and constantly being looked over or just being used for sex. You are beautiful and don't let anyones inability to see that get you down and afraid to show who you really are because inside you are beautiful and you deserve so much more than what they can give you or even want to give you. Wait until the guy can give you what you want I don't necessarily mean a ring on your finger but I do mean the title that you want like your his girl. I miss that and I have learned here recently that everyone that I though really cared for me didn't. They cheated and lied to me over and over again. Don't let that stop you from finding your true love because your amazing and if they don't see that then well they can go fuck themselves. Banks- Waiting Time
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