Bad Choices?

Recently I haven't been making the best of choices with my love life... I feel pretty stupid but it's a learning process right? Recently I ended it with someone I really really liked. He made some stupid decisions and got arrested and I was told by his x while he was in jail that they were getting back together. I asked him if it was true and it was. I told him to have a nice life. I deserve better than that right? I'm tired of tearing up when I think about him! I was sooo stupid now on wednesday I have to sit in a room with him and a ton of other managers from other IHOPs. No he does not work with me right now... But at one time he did. I should have never have liked him or have gotten attached.... I've been hanging out with a good guy friend alot and every once in a while he will stay the night and hold me when we sleep (dont worry we are just sleeping) we fall asleep watching movies. But him and i wont date soo why is it that i start to get feelings. why do i like the guys that i cant have? or why is it that i like the bad boys... i should not date or waste my time on a guy with three current charges... he got out of jail the next day but its still the fact that he back talked a cop then didnt know when to shut up! i need the good guy...... WHY CANT I ACTUALLY GET ONE?

life isnt always easy

so lately i have been working my butt off, i work full time i am a server part time and a cook the other half, but when i cook i cook from midnight til 6 am all by myself. I am trying to get this manager position and there is someone competing against me, i know that i am close to being the manager but i cant deal with the competition. He is taking everything way to seriously it is just a promotion, it should not be something where you should get mad at a friend because they are trying to get it. im sad that i lost a friend but loosing him is making me push that much more into getting this job. Nobody cares more than i do and nobody has put in as much blood sweat and tears as i have. and being told that i am bad and that they would quit if i get it rips me apart. im sad to loose a friend this way.

Good News (not like other blogs)

Ok so recently life has been amazing for me! My family is getting along (no my brother still isn't talking to me) but I got a job at IHOP. I am now a server :3 sweet! and I get my licence soon (took forever I know) but know that I have a job I can get it. Also I am getting a car! I am also paying for this car all by my self!. My man and I fixed things again XD.  But this is his last chance! But I haven't been this happy in a long time and I am glad that I am happy again :D

Say

When I have a pen in my hand I let the kink form letters that form beautiful words that make musical sentences. Writing isn't the simple act of writing something down for me its like a ritual I do everyday it's inspirational and magical to me. A pen may nust be a writing utensil for many but for me a pen is the key to a locked door that unlocks a magical world of creativity and feelings. The pen makes the barriers of my current life and wold disappear into oblivion. Behind the pen I am not afraid to say something I am not scared to of getting hurt and most of all I am not the quiet Ashley that many people know I am a creative writer who listens as her muse sings to her everyday. Listen to your muse and "say (what you need to say)"-John Meyer 

Kerosene

Tears glide down my face i always thought that you would never hurt me again i was proven wrong last night. You showed me that you don't care the same for me as I do for you . It's hard talking to you right now because you made it clear that you dont car for me.
I opened up to you to have it shoved in my face you know that i never trust people and the fact that I trustec you meant alot but i guess i give my trust away to easily you only care about her! you don't give a SHIT about me! Are you using me to get to her? To have maybe the smallest link to her? I'm done shedding tears for you! You are not worth my time or tears.. So I'm soaking the past in "Kerosene"- Miranda Lambert/

Pushing Me Away

I know you are not wanting to trust me and i know that I have messed up a few times but nobody is perfect. I know that at times you hate me because I make you feel things. I make it where you can't live life walking around numb. I do everything I do for a reason and that's because I love you I want you to live life happy. So will you just stop "pushing me away" -linken park

I Love You

When I hear your voice it's like the world just stood still
When you say my name my heart skips a beat
When I smile I can't help but grin from ear to ear and feel like I need to be ressessitated
You make me feel amazing
How did I get so lucky?
How did you fall in love with me and not someone else?
How is it that we can care so much for one another
I know there is a possibility that I may get hurt but nothing is going to stop me from jumping head first into the unknown with you
I wanna wake up every morning next to you and fall asleep in your arms while I feel you breathing on me.
I wanna kiss you awake with a huge grin on our faces, and see every scar and smile that you have
I want to feel you kiss me passionately all night. I wanna cuddle and watch movies until the end of time.
I wanna have that first date all over again every night.
I want every date to feel like the first date.
But most of all I just want to be with you , and to help you through everything that life throws at you because "I LOVE YOU"- Avril Lavigne

Love Bites (So Do I)

Love it hurts us in many ways. Some ways for the good and some ways for the bad. Even in a happy relationship there are always things that hurt. Weather it is the wives of soldiers or someone who loves someone so much and the other person doesn't even know that they exist. We all face problems with our love lives and love loves to bite us in the ass. And most of the time it hits us at the worst time possible. But you can also have days where all you feel is absolute bliss you can't help but to smile. Everything seems brighter and happier on those days. You see the world with rose colored glasses on. Which is an amazing feeling. But the thing that gets me going the most is hearing the person that I love tell me they love me every day and that I am their "Honey Bunny" You can never hear to much of that. But for a couples good days to be as good as they are they have to have bumps in the road that make the good times that much better. I know that we have had some rough bumps but we always make it I love you baby! But still "Love Bites (But So Do I)- Halestorm

Great News

Ok for all of my followers this one peice isn't going to be like others. Sorry for that. Well I was interviewed today for the Epic our schools newspaper on my blog. It meant alot to me that someone put my name out there. So thank you for who did it. But I know I haven't blogged much reciently which I feel guilty for but my life has been so hectic. I got my tattoo, it's a treble clef made out of stars... (surprising right?) My relationship has been doing good everyday is different. And like any relationship we have to work on it. But we are willing to work on it. Well that's all that I can think of. Off to get my happy little fingers on writing something.